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Writer's pictureKira Lynn Laurin

What Mindfulness looks like in everyday life – How to apply Mindfulness

Updated: Nov 5

The moment. Stop regretting the past and fearing the future. Today is all you have. Make the most of it. Make it worth remembering.

García & Miralles, 2017, p. 185


Mindfulness is a core component of the therapy I practice and it may surprise you as a concept. The idea behind Mindfulness is to introduce it as an everyday, conscious practice. The ability to flexibly pay attention to the present moment can help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression through a process of present-moment awareness. But how does one introduce the practice of Mindfulness? What can it look like for someone wanting to introduce it more consistently? Here are some ways someone can apply Mindfulness:


Pensive person near a lake

1.       For feelings of Anxiety

Anxiety can feel plain awful to experience. Some people even report panicky feelings. Connecting with the present moment can be an anchoring experience. The idea of mindfulness as a practice is not to avoid feelings but rather to bring the body and mind to the present moment. Anxiety, a lot of the time, is reported to live somewhere in the future – a place we have not encountered and therefore cannot fully predict. Feelings of anxiety are often reported to be produced when our brains have difficulty resolving the fact that we cannot control every outcome that our brains like to produce. Because our brains are great problem-solving machines, they cannot always cool down. But Mindfulness is a practice of defusing from the brain’s natural process of trying to predict the future and remain presently aware.


Try simply closing your eyes or keep them focused in front of you and breathe. Pay attention to a particular part of your body where you feel your breath, and become aware (non-judgmentally) about this space and the air that passes through – in and out. If your brain or mind tries to pull you away from noticing the breath, just acknowledge that your brain or mind is thinking, maybe even name what your brain or mind is doing, and then draw your focus back to your breath.

It takes practice to flexibly draw your focus to your body, and the idea is to practice consistently. You may notice that your body will naturally relax. The focus of this practice is to defuse the mind or brain’s feverish pursuit of controlling the future and remaining present.


2.       Feelings of Depression

Depression has often been seen as a personal failure. It may feel like your lack of energy, persistent thoughts of negativity, difficult lowered moods… is a sign that you are simply not trying hard enough. As much as we understand the nature of depression and the feelings associated, we are beginning to practice compassion for those experiencing depression. But what of self-compassion? Mindfulness is a great place to start.


Mindfulness is a practice of compassion. Compassion can start with understanding. Mindfulness isn’t removing thoughts but rather having a different relationship with them. Self-compassion can start with a simple practice of being curious about the inner world we all have. Try starting with sitting down in a comfortable but awake position – think sitting on a mat or lying down in a Child’s Pose. Then, notice the breath that enters your body. Observe the thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations that come with it. Name them: what do they remind you of? I like noticing them my brain/mind starts talking of the past. I name them with proper names: ah, yes, that’s Lucy! Be playful and curious. Then defuse from it, return to your breath, and anchor yourself in the present moment.


Understanding our inner world as an experience can open room for self-compassion. If “Lucy” is an embarrassing Neurodivergent moment from my teenage years, and “Lucy” is a memory I hold that is trying to remind me not to flub up a social interaction for fear of rejection and rejection is a perception I’ve held for a long time because of my different brain, then “Lucy” can be cared for with loving-kindness.


Depression can remind us of these experiences and mental events… so self-compassion can hold us.


3.       Somatic wounds of trauma

Trauma is the activation of our nervous system – from parasympathetic to sympathetic, from rest-and-digest to fight/flight/freeze. We feel it as anxiety sometimes. We can feel it as pain at times. We can also feel it as intense emotions. How do you feel about it? How do you experience it?


Mindfulness can act, not only as a calming factor but as a mechanism to detach the brain and body from a past where the trauma lives. I recommend practicing in a way that makes you feel safe and anchored, just tipping your toes into growth. If that means keeping your eyes open, sitting upright, or focusing on a safe spot on your body, it doesn’t matter. So long as you feel anchored and in the realm of growth, Mindfulness could help with easing these wounds.


I would like to mention that Mindfulness is not a one-size-fits-all approach and that it might not always be helpful for those who have experienced trauma. Talking to a trusted practitioner may be an important first step.


Mindfulness can be a great practice to introduce in addition to therapy. I recommend discussing with a trusted practitioner before practicing any skills mentioned. Mindfulness could be helpful for many mental health conditions but it isn’t for everyone, and knowing your limits is important to know before practicing. Explore and find support from someone who can help.


For more reading:


The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh


Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World by J. Mark G. Williams and Danny Penman


Flowers in the Dark: Reclaiming Your Power to Heal from Trauma with Mindfulness by Dang Nghiem

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